...to whom?

It's fun when people send emails with Priority: Urgent or Importance: High headers. I also love that Gmail ignores them. Like I do.

The Warehouse

A man came to the 15 acre tire warehouse and asked the clerk "Do you have any tires?" The clerk dutifully went into the back, and spent 10 days counting them all by hand. When he came back to the counter to reply "yes", he found that the prospective customer had left and gone somewhere else.

"Are there any?" is a very different question than "How many are there?"

Use SELECT EXISTS, not SELECT COUNT(*), for chrissakes.